So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
