i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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