is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
