What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
