with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize