I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
