it's too hot outside to masturbate.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
