In America we eat man semen.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
