wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
I stole a fireplace last night.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
Randomize
