You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night�
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
