I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Randomize
