Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
