Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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