Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
