when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
