You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
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