I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Randomize
