So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
