If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
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