I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
