I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
the raccoons are back...
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