in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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