She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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