your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize
