he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
Randomize
