i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
a search helicopter?!
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
