i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
Randomize
