Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
