I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
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