when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
Randomize
