his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
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