i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
