the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize
