So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
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