Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Randomize
