last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
there was a trapeze. enough said
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
Randomize
