I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
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