she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Randomize
