you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
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