Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
