Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
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