i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
