is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
