Kareoke will never be a sober sport
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
