I don't usually arrange sex via text message
I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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