Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
