U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Randomize
