Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
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