They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize
