Three words: puerto rican gang bang
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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