so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
