Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
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