P.S. I can't hear my feet
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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