Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Randomize
